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Can green beans be eaten at the seder?
Signed, Sick of Matza Brei.Dear Sick, You can eat the beans, but only if you bring a note from your mother.
The Torah forbids Jews from eating or possessing hametz during Passover. Hametz is defined as any product made from or having as an ingredient wheat, rye, spelt, oats, and barley unless specially prepared as "kosher for Pesah." This means that corn, rice, garlic, peas and, yes, Green Beans, are absolutely not hametz.
But in most Ashkenazic communities it has been the custom to refrain from certain foods besides hametz during Pesah. These proscribed foods are referred to as "kitniyot," often translated as "legumes and other small things." Rabbinic discussions record some twenty-five different reasons for not eating kitniyot, and the list of proscribed items varies from place to place. Depending on where your family came from, green beans may or may not be considered kitniyot.
While most pisqei halakha — determinations of Jewish Law — are made by your rabbi, this one is made by Mom. If it is the custom of your family not to eat Green Beans on Passover, then don't eat them.
But if your family does eat green beans on Passover — if you are Sephardic, or if you are a Jew by Choice, or if your family eats green beans on Passover for any other reason — then by all means eat the beans.
While maintaining the proscription on eating kitniyot, the Committee on Jewish Law and Standards of the Rabbinical Assembly (Conservative) has ruled that green beans are permitted on Pesah.
Even if you don't eat green beans, it is permitted to eat on the dishes of someone who does eat them on Pesah. Beans and other kitniyot are not hametz. If someone hands you the beans, just pass them over to the next person.
Reprinted from the BEKI BulletinApril 2000
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Can Lactaid and orange juice be used on Passover even though the container is not marked "Kosher for Passover"?
Signed, Concerned for Colon ComfortDear Colon Comfort, Many simple products such as Lactaid or orange juice, that normally do not contain hametz but are not packaged specifically for Passover, may be used on Passover if purchased before the holiday. On the morning before Passover, we perform the ceremony of biur hametz and bittul hametz (nullification of leaven), which provides a legal cover for the possibility of any contamination. This cover is not available for items aquired during the festival, so the items must be acquired before mid-morning Erev Pesah when the hametz is nullified.
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How clean is clean for Passover? I have spent two weeks cleaning, but no matter how much I clean, I can never be sure all the hametz is gone.
Signed, Compulsive Kitchen CleanerDear Compulsive, Pharaoh freed the slaves. This means that Pesah is supposed to be a happy holiday. Joy on the festival is a halakhic (legal) requirement. As the Good Book says, "You shall rejoice on your festivals." Clean is not the same as kosher, although they are related concepts. If you put in two to three times your normal weekly effort into cleaning (assuming you do clean regularly), then it is time to say dayenu (enough). Any hidden crumbs of hametz are sold and nullified, relieving you of liability. The process of kashering your kitchen, if done diligently, also relieves you of any liability. Happy Pesah!
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The following notice appeared as a “special alert” in Kashrus Magazine (March 2004 p. 7): “Manischewitz Chocolate Coins ('OU-Pareve') bear the words: 'In G-d We Trust.' A number of leading rabbonim have Paskened that one may not eat them nor throw away the chocolate and wrappers, if they too have those words. Consult your rabbi.”
So rabbi, I am consulting you. What should I do if we have those coins?
Signed,
In R-bbi We TrustDear Trust, Our halakha (law) holds that there are five basic Hebrew names of the Almighty that are so sacred that they may not be treated casually or erased. Among those are the tetragramaton, the four-letter name beginning with yud, which is unpronounced and is usually replaced by “Adonai” (“my Lord”) when reading or praying aloud, and is sometimes replaced with “HaShem” (“The Name”). It is sometimes symbolized as a hei apostrophe or as a double yud in Hebrew.
Another sacred name is the Hebrew equivalent of “Allah” and its variations. This name begins with the letters alef lamed and ends with a consonantal hei, or, in the most common variations, ends with the im or enu suffix. This name is most often translated as “God.” It is the generic name used to describe both God and false gods (as in, “You shall have no other gods before me”).
Some people wish to transfer that sanctity to the common English word “God” (hence, “G-d”). Although there is no basis for this in law, who am I to stand in the way of popular or personal piety. If you have such coins, especially if the chocolate is still there, and especially if it is milk chocolate, please bring them to my office and I will dispose of them properly. If the chocolate is already gone, and you have only the foil wrappers, recycle them.
Reprinted from the BEKI BulletinBack to Dear Rabbi questions
I saw the Pope on television and noticed that he wears a yarmulke. No offense meant, but is the Pope Jewish? Signed, Bareheaded in Beaver Hill.
Dear Bareheaded, No, the Pope is not Jewish. The correct word for the Pope's skullcap is a zucchetto, which is an Italian word that basically means "beanie." Zucchettos are color-coded skullcaps worn by Catholic clergy: priests wear black, bishops wear purple, cardinals wear red, and the Pope wears white.
The Jewish practice of covering the head dates back to ancient times when the kohanim in the Temple wore special headdresses.
The morning blessing "oter Yisrael betifara – who crowns Israel with beauty," was originally said before putting on the turban. The Talmud states that a man should not take four steps without his head being covered. We can keep our heads covered by wearing any sort of hat or turban. One choice is the kippa, which in Yiddish is called Yarmulke, in English, skullcap, or in Italian Zucchetto. The kippa has no religious significance in and of itself — it is merely one type of hat. It is nothing more than a beanie.
Today, we follow a moderate path and make a point to keep our heads covered during prayer, study, meals and other religious acts, such as playing baseball.
Although he wears a kippa, the Pope is not Jewish. And although we wear Zucchettos, we are not the Pope. Once again we see that you don't have to be Jewish to be Jewish, but it helps.
Reprinted from the BEKI Bulletin December 2000Back to Dear Rabbi questions
What is the symbolism of throwing the dirt on a coffin at a Jewish funeral? Signed, Dying to Know
Dear Dying, It is not a symbol. It is part of an actual burial.
The first shovels of dirt at a burial service can be a very difficult moment for the mourners, because it brings home the reality of the death in a very direct way. While some mourners choose not to attend the burial service, it is important to understand that the actual burial is a specific mitzva (religious imperative) and it is considered a great act of kindness to provide others with this final act of service. Mourners are not usually required or expected to perform the actual burial, but they may do so if they are able.
BEKI Bulletin January 2000Back to Dear Rabbi questions
What is the symbolism of lighting Shabbat candles? Signed, In the Dark
Dear Dark, It is not a symbol. Originally, at least, and in most times and places, the lighting of Shabbat lamps was primarily to give light so that people would not have to (as they say in the punch line of many Jewish mother jokes) "sit in the dark." That is, if they didn't light Shabbat lamps, it would be dark, because most people did not otherwise have artificial lighting to illuminate the night. In most times and places, when the sun went down, it got dark, and that was the end of the matter. Lighting Shabbat lamps meant that this one day of the week was special in that people could see, and so could stay up later talking, singing, eating, studying, and reading. Shabbat was a very special day for that reason.
In our day the lighting serves as a moment for an individual or family to pause and begin a period of sacred time. The act of lighting the candles links one Jewish household to another and one generation to another.
BEKI Bulletin January 2000Back to Dear Rabbi questions
When should a young Jewish man approaching bar mitzva age begin putting on tefillin? Signed, Men in Black
Dear Men in Black Leather, The Talmud (Sukka 42a) records a statement from the Mishnaic period: "A minor who knows how to wave the lulav is obligated to wave; to wrap in fringes (tsitsit) is obligated with respect to fringes; to care for tefillin, his father should buy him tefillin."
In general, we encourage pre-benei mitzva to begin performing mitzvot (religious obligations) as soon as they are "age appropriate," even though minors are not technically obligated until they reach the age of majority. For some mitzvot, such as marriage and raising children, we generally encourage people to wait until after their teenage years. In the days of the Temple, kohanim did not serve in certain capacities, and men were not subject to military conscription, until age 20.
Jewish youths should begin wearing tefillin when they are able to treat tefillin with care and reverence. Tefillin contain parchments on which are written Biblical passages, much like a Torah scroll. A basic pair might cost over $300. Tefillin are not child's play.
The time of becoming a bar- or bat-mitzva is special and should be marked by taking on new mitzvot, privileges and responsibilities. If tefillin are already part of a youth's religious life, there are many other mitzvot available to serve as "special" ones associated with becoming a bar- or bat-mitzva.
If a minor youth wears tefillin, it is possible that a gabbai or shamash (ritual director or service organizer) will mistakenly assume that the youth is an adult who should be counted toward the Minyan (quorum). A minor wearing tefillin, therefore, should make a point of informing the person responsible for a service that they are indeed a minor.
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Does Yom Kippur ever fall on a Sunday? Signed, Weekend Warrior
Dear Warrior, No. Yom Kippur will occur on a Monday 28.5% of the time, Wednesday 28.2%, Thursday 11.3%, and Shabbat 32.0%. In fixing the calendar in the second century C.E., our sages determined that Yom Kippur could not occur on Friday or Sunday, as that would result in two consecutive days on which cooking and related activities are prohibited. (If you find the occurrence of Passover on a Sunday to be a challenge, image what you would have to do if Yom Kippur were on a Friday.) The sages also determined that Hoshana Rabba (the last regular day of Sukkot) could not occur on Shabbat, since its observance cannot be postponed and its observance would involve numerous conflicts with Shabbat restrictions. As a result, Yom Kippur can never occur on a Friday, Sunday or Tuesday.
To facilitate this jiggering, there are two "leap days" available on the Hebrew calendar. Heshvan (eighth month) and Kislev (ninth month) can each have 29 or 30 days. A 12-month year may therefore have 353, 354 or 355 days, and a "leap year" (with a second month of Adar) to have 383, 384 or 385 days. A "regular" year has 354 or 384 days, but if Yom Kippur were to fall on a Friday, Sunday or Tuesday, one of these "leap days" can be added or subtracted.
While the Hebrew calendar seems somewhat complex, it has the advantage of having months with either 29 or 30 days (compared to our civil calendar, in which months have 28, 29, 30 or 31 days). The Hebrew calendar, unlike the civil calendar, corresponds with the phases of the moon as well as other natural cycles.
Some years ago, Congress declared that certain federal holidays such as Memorial Day and Labor Day will be observed on Mondays only. Even Independence Day, popularly known as "The Fourth of July," is observed on a Monday. The result is that the Fourth of July might be celebrated on the third of July in some years. When the fourth of July falls on a Saturday, it may be observed the previous Friday, so as not to deprive workers of the day's vacation. In its tinkering with the calendar, Congress was performing an old Jewish tradition. A we see, you don't have to be Jewish to be Jewish, but it helps.
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How can a person do teshuva (repentance) when the person can't make amends for various reasons, e.g. because it will cost too much personally (or financially) to make amends or because the other person doesn't know amends are due and to ask for forgiveness will only stir up trouble? Signed, Sorry to Ask
Dear Sorry, Our sages note that there are some circumstances in which teshuva cannot be made by directly making amends with the injured party, such as when the victim is no longer living or the victim's identity is unknown. One might do an act of kindness toward the family of the deceased, or contribute tsedaqa (charity) in memory of the deceased. For an unknown victim, one might similarly do an act of kindness or give tsedaqa to another person of the same class or locale.
I do not believe that "it costs too much" is a valid reason not to make amends. How much is it worth, monetarily, to know that one has done the right thing, and to be able to go forward in life with a clear conscience? If it is likely that an attempt to seek forgiveness or make amends will result in violence or other serious harm, then it might be desirable to find a "safe" way to make amends indirectly, such as through giving tsedaqa in the name of the wronged party. Each case must be considered on its own.
For further ideas, consult Maimonides' Hilkhot Teshuva - Laws of Repentance in his Mishne Torah Law Code, first published about 800 years ago.
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I was recently paying a shiva call. Despite my intense effort to limit my conversation to words of comfort to the mourners, words of Torah, and recollections of the deceased, other callers attempted to make conversation with me about completely unrelated but pleasant matters. How can I, in the future, stick to the halakhot [rules] of paying a shiva call, while not seeming to reject, ignore or insult others who want to converse about tangential matters, and who are apparently unaware of the shiva halakhot? Normally I enjoy discourse about the topics that these others were raising; it was just not appropriate behavior in a house of shiva. I was unable to effectively change the subject back to what should have been the topic, despite my best efforts. I note that I did read the "Talk to Your Friends" section of "The Art of Paying a Shiva Call" in the BEKI Yizkor Memorial Booklet, which clarifies the proper halakhot; but you did not address the "what to do if confronted with idle conversation at a house of shiva" question in that booklet. Signed, Very Sorry
Dear Very Sorry, When friends gather it is only natural for them to want to greet each other and converse. Sometimes this even happens before a funeral, in the presence of the dead, when it is completely inappropriate to talk at all except as necessary for the funeral.
In a shiva house, furniture may be overturned and mirrors covered, and mourners may have their shoes off and wear torn clothes. These unusual sights serve to remind visitors that things are not "normal," and that the lives of the mourners have been overturned. When making a shiva call, it is considered correct to wait for the mourners to speak and to keep the conversation to their concerns. One may share positive memories of the deceased. If another visitor speaks to you, you might try saying, "Okay, but now I need to listen to the mourner" or "that is interesting and maybe we can speak further about it after we leave this house of mourning." If the other visitor does not take your hint, you might be more direct, as long as you can make the point without embarrassing him or her. Otherwise, one might leave and come back another time or find a reason to sit or stand in another part of the room.
In any event, your question itself reminds us of proper shiva etiquette.
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Is it permitted to use Razor Boards [skateboards with handles] on Shabbat? Signed, Cutting it Close
Dear Cutting it, Halakha (Jewish law) enjoins us from engaging in dangerous activities, and to follow safety rules in everything we do. Thus halakha requires those using Razor Boards, skateboards, skates and bicycles to wear helmets and other standard protective gear. Razor Boards present a particular hazard of internal injury should the rider crash and be thrown against the Board's handle.
Razor Boards and the like are generally not considered within the "spirit" of Shabbat by most observant communities. Nevertheless, they do not entail the violations of halakha associated with automobiles or even bicycles. As long as it is understood that the device will be used within the eruv (Shabbat boundary) and operated in an especially safe manner, there may not be any specific barrier to their use. We live in a mixed community, and in general, I would not want to deprive my children or myself of available pleasures on Shabbat unless there is a good reason to do so. Especially if riding a Razor helps children or parents come to shul or to share Shabbat with friends and relatives, such riding would be within our community standard.
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I read your essay "Will the 'Real' Judaism Please Stand Up?" on the BEKI website with great interest. I was particularly struck by the Conservative movement's halakhic (legal) reasoning behind the decision to create an egalitarian service, allowing women aliya, reading from the Torah, and simply being allowed to be on the bima. But there was an underlying issue which I want to discuss.
I recently joined a Conservative synagogue where I live with my fiance. My background was secular/Reform and hers was secular/Conservative. Only through constant reading, participating in services, attending an Orthodox sponsored summer retreat which taught me for the first time how to don teffilin and the basic laws of observing Shabbat, and practicing my Hebrew reading, have I become better acquainted with our Jewish heritage than I ever was growing up.
Motivating this question is my discussions with Orthodox rabbis on why, according to them, Conservative Judaism is not Judaism. What Orthodox rabbis have told me is that Judaism has a core belief system, summarized in Maimonides' "Thirteen Principles of Faith." Because the Conservative movement does not accept Principle Nine, that the Torah (both "oral" and "written") is Divine and immutable from Sinai (the belief being an actual unique event with 600,000 male witnesses as proof that it happened), and Principle Thirteen, that the dead will be resurrected, the Orthodox rabbinate cannot accept Conservative conversions nor hold that Conservative Judaism is truly Judaism.
I find myself in agreement with the stand taken by the Conservative Rabbinate allowing women to read the Torah, as you explain it in your article, and being able to back it up with halakhic reasoning. However, the Orthodox rabbi tells me that if a Conservative or non-Orthodox Jew in general were to be serious, and intellectually explore the consequences of Conservative Judaism and Orthodox Judaism, they would choose, if honest with themselves, Orthodox Judaism. To him it boils down to, you must accept the traditional version that Torah (including the oral law) is in fact the word of God recorded by Moses at Mt.Sinai, and all the events described in the Torah, including the miracle narratives, actually happened; and you must follow it up with ritual and ethical observance and thus have authentic Judaism. If you do not conform to this belief, then you have a deviation from actual Judaism. I guess I am in a state of spiritual confusion and saddened that a major part of our community, the keepers of traditional believing Judaism, are in a sense telling me and other members of Conservative synagogues, that we are wrong.
Would the Talmudic sages of our past agree with this analysis, that if you do not conform to certain core beliefs, then it isn't Judaism, even if that synagogue's members perform the traditional rituals, yet allow driving to shul at the Sabbath, conduct the same prayer service, and act ethically according to traditional Jewish law? Sincerely, Perplexed
Dear Perplexed,
Numerous sages have tried to reduce Judaism to some number of core teachings. Hillel said, "Do not do unto others," etc. The "Thirteen Principles" set out by Rambam is just one of many such sets and was not and is not universally accepted among mainstream observant Jews.
Even so, if you accept Rambam on this, then you might have to accept his teaching (in Guide for the Perplexed) where he tells us that much of the Torah, such as the talking donkey or the "angel" who fought with Jacob, is meant as accounts of prophetic visions, not things that really happened in the normal sense of the words.
Generally speaking, the Conservative rabbis accept the notion of Torah mi-Sinai, but, like our ancestors, differ on exactly what is meant by this. Read the Biblical account yourself and see what the Torah itself says directly. Many of our sages taught, "Torah is given in human language." That fact inherently limits just how and what could be conveyed at Sinai. That is, the language and wording of Torah is limited by human capabilities at the outset.
Many or most of our sages (before the last couple hundred years) believed that at least parts of the Torah (by which I mean the Humash, the Five Books) was written by someone other than Moses, after his death. Typically, it is suggested that Joshua or the Sofrim (Scribes) were the writers. The Torah itself describes the death of Moses. Some sages said that this certainly must have been written by someone else later; others said that the Almighty dictated it to Moshe and Moshe wrote of his own death with tears in his eyes. A beautiful midrash (folklore), but in any case it is absolutely traditional to believe that at least parts of the Torah were not dictated verbatim to Moshe at Sinai.
Another passage that raised this question is in parashat Lekh Lekha, where the phrase "ve-ha-Kena`ani az ba-arets – the Canaanites were then in the land" is included parenthetically, as it were. It was only after the time of Joshua that the Canaanites were not in the land, and only in that period would a reader need to be reminded that the Canaanites were in the land during the period described in the narrative. Sure, one might answer, as some sages did, that this was written at the time of Moses with this phrase included only for the benefit of later generations. But the fact is that many sages (again, before the modern period, before the creation of "Orthodox" Judaism) believed that this phrase must have been written long after the time of Moses.
The reason given for saying that "Torah came from Sinai letter for letter," despite the actual more nuanced view, was to counter the claims of Christians and others who said that the Jewish People do not have the true transmission of Torah. To defend against this charge, many sages promoted the line that the Torah as we have it was dictated word for word by God at Sinai, despite their own certainty that this was not exactly the case.
The Talmud records that the Humash was originally written in an alphabet other than the "Syrian" characters we use today. Given this fact, it is a stretch to claim that the very spelling of the words in Torah, letter by letter, could possibly be exactly as given to Moshe at Sinai.
How did this revelation occur exactly? Did God dictate letter by letter to Moshe as he wrote it down? Did God dictate word by word? Was it possible that the revelation was visual as well as, or instead of, verbal, and it was up to Moshe to verbalize it? The Torah's own account suggests that there was a mixing of the senses (e.g., seeing sounds) even among the people who stood at a distance. Exactly how this revelation took place is left up to midrash and our imagination.
It is not necessary to know exactly how we got the Torah to feel bound by Jewish law. By comparison, many people feel bound by American law, and recognize the legitimacy of the US Government, even though we know for a fact that it was founded by traitors to the Crown, by white male property owners, slave owners, and that it was not accepted by many people, so much so that a war was fought. Even so, most of us accept American law and the existence of the US Federal government as somehow legitimate and binding. How much more so a law that has been followed by, and developed by, our own ancestors for 3,500 years, for our own benefit and that of humanity, based on Divine revelation (regardless of how you define "revelation").
As for bodily resurrections, it is questionable as to whether Rambam himself actually believed this. In any event, many great sages through the ages have not believed this, or at least have not known what could possibly be meant by it. What happens to someone who was born missing a limb – is he resurrected whole? Is the grandfather the same age as his son? Is her first, second and third husband resurrected along with her fourth? Where are these people living? If someone wants to believe in bodily resurrection, they are free to do so. To claim it is an essential part of normative Jewish teaching is in my opinion unwarranted. No one knows exactly what happens to us after death, and we are not meant to know. The only thing that our sages agree on is that there is some kind of eternal existence to our souls, and that we are held accountable for our actions, but how this works is a mystery beyond our understanding.
I believe that fundamentalist Orthodoxy is an aberration and does not represent the mainstream of Jewish tradition. I believe that the world was created millions of years ago, and that dinosaurs once roamed this planet. If someone wants to believe that God created fossils of dinosaurs 5,761 years ago, they are free to believe that, but I wouldn't want them to pass that teaching off as "traditional Judaism."
There is a strong rationalist tendency in Judaism, which includes a system of respectful teaching that allows for varying opinions on many important issues. The traditional Judaism that I follow respects the intellectual integrity of each person and does not ask us to believe things contrary to reason.
Part of my personal journey included studying in a variety of settings, including with Orthodox groups and Habad, as well as in secular universities, along with the Jewish Theological Seminary. I can only tell you that my personal study of the original texts was eye opening, and that it seems to me that the approach of the Conservative Movement is the most authentic with respect to the traditions of our ancestors. Even more importantly, I believe it is the best path for us to follow to preserve a meaningful and authentic Judaism that our children can observe. My family was Conservative-affiliated, and my extended family runs the gamut from Orthodox to Pagan, and I had no pressure to go in any particular direction; my orientation is in large part the result of my study. I would agree with your non-Conservative rabbis in urging you to continue your own study, with an open mind, and with respect for your own intellect and that of others.
A couple of particular books that might be especially helpful in understanding halakha, are Rabbi Joel Roth's The Halakhic Process: A Systemic Analysis, (New York: JTSA) 1986, and Menachem Elon's Principles of Jewish Law (even though Elon identifies as Orthodox). The other book to read is Judith Hauptman's Rereading the Rabbis: A Woman's Voice (Westbrook Press) 1999. Moreover, read the Mishna and Shulhan Arukh (or Mishna Berura), or study Rambam's writings yourself and draw your own conclusions.
I hope this is in some way helpful. To complete Hillel's summation of Judaism, "Do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto you. All the rest is commentary. Now go and study!"
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I converted to Judaism through a Chabad rabbi and a Modern Orthodox shul. This process took many months of intensive study of Torah, learning the mitzvot, and struggling with "the women's issue."
I read every women's book I could find. My rabbi is open and willing to discuss things with me. But I can't get away from feeling degraded and held back from Godliness. I love Torah so much, I love halakha, I love the mitzvot, and I love hassidut. So I stayed with full (and naive) faith that Oral Torah was somehow beautiful and wonderful when it tells me I cannot do so many things, and that it was just a matter of study to uncover this beauty. Sometimes the problem is not Talmud, but rather tradition. Rabbi Solovetchik said that since women have never danced with a Torah on Simchas Torah in the past, we know it is not proper for them to do so. A rabbi said that since only men immerse in preparation for Shabbat, any woman who wants to do so is trying to grab for equality and men's observances. The very tradition that I love prohibits me from embracing it to fullest extent of my person ability. If I were a man, everything would be wonderful for me. It is difficult for me to comprehend a limit placed on me because of my biology. My heart and mind are higher faculties than my reproductive organs, and yet somehow the higher faculties must submit to the lower.
When I mentioned a Conservative temple to my Rabbi, he became very upset and worried about me. He wonders if my conversion was a mistake, and if he will be forever held liable before God for my abandonment of traditional Torah. I'm told that I cannot even attend one service, because it would be a violation of rabbinic law. Can you advise me? Signed, Hiding Seeker
Dear Hiding Seeker, Your practical dilemma is between being an advocate for women's advancement in the Chabad or Orthodox community, or being an advocate for traditional observance and outlook in a Conservative community. Either arena gives you the great challenge of tiqun olam and its attendant mitzva opportunities, with the knowledge that in either setting your own needs for religious community will not be completely satisfied.
The Mishna, Talmud and other rabbinic literature reflect the belief of our sages that it is valuable to present many viewpoints on issues of import. I am always suspicious of those who discourage open discourse and debate. It is important to respect your spiritual and intellectual integrity, and it is essential that you be as honest with yourself, and your teachers, as you can be. It sounds like you experience and value such trusting and honest relationships.
I would not underestimate the importance of Talmud Torah (Torah Study) as a central mitzva, one in which you ought to be able to partake fully as a woman. As you continue to grow in your knowledge of the classical sources, particularly Talmud and midrash, you may not need to rely so much on the interpretation of your teachers, at least for some things.
I have an understanding of "traditional Judaism with respect to the role of women (and other topics) that is significantly different from that typically presented by the Chabad movement. In part, this difference revolves around questions of history, or halakhic [legal] history. But I suppose that it is equally important to me to take into consideration a vision for the future, a vision of a just and affirming Jewish society, and I believe that social debilities imposed on women are inconsistent with that vision.
Would it make a difference for you if you could find within tradition — the writings of pre-modern rabbis — a convincing basis for your adoption of the "restricted" ritual performances?
My suggestion would be that if it is possible for you, explore the rest of the observant Jewish world, including other modern Orthodox congregations and observant Conservative shuls. Many Conservative shuls offer services designed more for the less educated or less traditionally observant, and for that reason you might find them unsatisfying. But perhaps there is in your area a more traditionally-oriented Conservative minyan. Even more, if you have the opportunity to study at Drisha Institute in New York, or the Conservative Yeshiva in Jerusalem, or in other observant settings, I think that might help you gain a broader perspective.
You should not have to choose between feeling loyal to your earlier teachers and your own integrity. If you are strong enough in your faith, you will be able to avert the dangers of associating with others who are not religiously committed while interacting with them, and will have the advantages of studying in a diverse and open setting. If this is not a practical option, perhaps there are local study groups of women or men with similar concerns. I think that you are now responsible for your own spiritual path, and it is unfortunate that your rabbi would feel threatened by your exploration or education. I would suppose that you are answerable to the Almighty for your own actions, and that your rabbi is not responsible for your actions. The Chabad practice of placing great importance on "loyalty" to the rabbi is, in my view, unfortunate. I think that Judaism teaches that we have other, and higher, loyalties.
Perhaps some of your teachers have tried to suggest that the mitzva areas off limits to you in orthodox settings — public worship, tefillin — really represent only a small fraction of religious life, and in that way try to minimize your concern. I would say that these areas are indeed small, but the fact that you experience the restriction, and the ideology behind them, as degrading, is telling.
Although the conflict you experience is painful, it is based on your love of Torah, the People Israel and the Almighty, and I am confident that you will find paths that are productive and that will enable you to do what is pleasing to your Maker. Perhaps that is what you are here for.
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My dog just turned 13 in doggie years. Can he have a Bar Mitzva? He's very smart.
Signed, Doggone curious in Beaver Hills.
PS: He sings better than you do, Rabbi.Dear Doggone: Your question gives us paws. Requests for Bar Mitzvas for dogs have hounded our synagogues for years and are still a bone of contention.
When a laddie turns 13 — or a lassie reaches 12 — he or she becomes an adult member of the community, with all of the attendant privileges and obligations.
Despite the popular usage in which "bar mitzva" refers to a ceremony, the Hebrew term actually means "a person obligated by the mitzvot," that is, an adult according to Jewish Law who must curb their inclinations and observe the commandments.
A bar- or bat-mitzva is an adult with respect to criminal law, torts and ritual. A bar- or bat-mitzva becomes part of the Jewish mission in the world, which is to make the world better by performing mitzvot, Divine Commandments.
This applies to Jewish humans. Dogs, on the other hand, are not members of the People Israel, but rather are of Caninite origin.
The mitzvot that God gave to the People of Israel, and the commandments that God gave other people, simply do not apply to Rover. This may sound dogmatic, but you're barking up the wrong tree. I think it's best to let sleeping dogs lie.
Perhaps, though, we can give your four-footed friend a Bark-Mitzva.
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Return to BEKI welcome pageEmail to Rabbi Jon-Jay Tilsen: jjtilsen@beki.org
