Dear Rabbi:
Answers, Advice & Helpful Household HintsA Regular Feature of the BEKI Bulletin since August 1993
Food, Kosher, Kashrut, Kosher for Passover
Death & Dying
Shabbat
Prayer & Synagogue Ritual
Hanuka
More TopicsDear Rabbi...
Food, Kosher, Kashrut, Kosher for Passover
I like to brush my teeth after every meal. Do I need separate toothbrushes for meat and dairy? Signed, Choppers
I can't stand it. Whenever I come for food at a Bar Mitzva or Bat Mitzva or Wedding I have to stand in a long line. Can't you do something about it? Signed, Tired of waiting in long lines.
How early can we make our house kosher for Pesah? Can we eat kosher for Pesah foods on our Pesah dishes before Pesah? Signed, Early Bird
Dear Early Bird, You can make your kitchen kosher for Pesah anytime you want....
Can somebody married to a non-Jew sell their hametz [leavening] to them on Passover? Signed, All in the family
Can Hametz be sold by email? Signed, yitsi@mitzraim.com
I have a perplexing question concerning the Kashrut of yogurt — which I had always assumed would be dairy by nature. A certain brand, Yoplait, uses Kosher gelatin. Is Kosher gelatin the same product I think it is (i.e, derived from a Kosher animal)? And so is Yoplait a mixture of dairy and (kosher!) meat? What is the story? Signed, Kosher consumer
Quick question: Kids want a cat. Is kitty required to keep kosher? Signed, Kitty Query
Dear Cat Kashrut Questioner, Cats can keep kosher but are not required to....
Can green beans be eaten at the seder? Signed, Sick of Matza Brei.
Dear Sick, You can eat the beans, but only if you bring a note from your mother....
Can Lactaid and orange juice be used on Passover even though the container is not marked "Kosher for Passover"? Signed, Concerned for Colon Comfort
How clean is clean for Passover? I have spent two weeks cleaning, but no matter how much I clean, I can never be sure all the hametz is gone. Signed, Compulsive Kitchen Cleaner
Dear Compulsive, Pharaoh freed the slaves….
The following notice appeared as a “special alert” in Kashrus Magazine (March 2004 p. 7): “Manischewitz Chocolate Coins ('OU-Pareve') bear the words: 'In G-d We Trust.' A number of leading rabbonim have Paskened that one may not eat them nor throw away the chocolate and wrappers, if they too have those words. Consult your rabbi.”
So rabbi, I am consulting you. What should I do if we have those coins? Signed, In R-bbi We Trust
Death & Dying
Can say I say mourners' qaddish at a Shiva Minyan if I'm observing a yahrzeit but not one of the mourners during shiva? Signed, Still Mourning
Why do people use the back side of the shovel at funerals? Is this a law? Signed, Dying to Know
Why is the Keser Israel Memorial Park (cemetery) all the way out where it is? Similarly, the Beth El Memorial Park (cemetery) must also have been way out when it was dedicated. Signed, Dying to Know
Why do some shuls say Mourner's Qaddish so many times at the end of some services? Signed, Late for Work
Why do Jews put stones on tombstones? Signed, Don't Rock the Boat
What is the symbolism of throwing the dirt on a coffin at a Jewish funeral? Signed, Dying to Know
I was recently paying a shiva call. Despite my intense effort to limit my conversation to words of comfort to the mourners, words of Torah, and recollections of the deceased, other callers attempted to make conversation with me about completely unrelated but pleasant matters. How can I, in the future, stick to the halakhot [rules] of paying a shiva call, while not seeming to reject, ignore or insult others who want to converse about tangential matters, and who are apparently unaware of the shiva halakhot? Normally I enjoy discourse about the topics that these others were raising; it was just not appropriate behavior in a house of shiva. I was unable to effectively change the subject back to what should have been the topic, despite my best efforts. I note that I did read the "Talk to Your Friends" section of "The Art of Paying a Shiva Call" in the BEKI Yizkor Memorial Booklet, which clarifies the proper halakhot; but you did not address the "what to do if confronted with idle conversation at a house of shiva" question in that booklet. Signed, Very Sorry
Shabbat
I know that the Conservative movement said it is okay to drive on shabbat, but I for one don't want to. Yet, the synagogue is a bit too far to walk. Can I ride a bike and still keep the rules of the sabbath? Signed, At the limit
I learned giving gifts is not permitted on Shabbat. If this is so, how can people bring food to other people's house on shabbat, if they are giving it? Religious people do that all the time. Signed, Don't Give a...gift
What is the symbolism of lighting Shabbat candles? Signed, In the Dark
Dear Dark, It is not a symbol....
Is it permitted to use Razor Boards [skateboards with handles] on Shabbat? Signed, Cutting it Close
Dear Cutting it, Halakha (Jewish law) enjoins us from engaging in dangerous activities....
Prayer & Synagogue Ritual
What determines which sefer Torah [Torah scroll] is taken from the ark? Sincerely, Better Sefer than Sorry
How can children lead services before their bar- or bat-mitzva? Signed, Davening to Know
Dear Davening, At BEKI minors (pre-benei-mitzva youth) are allowed, indeed encouraged, to read Torah (with some exceptions and reservations)....
The siddur (prayer book) instructions say that the Shema [p. 100-103 in Sim Shalom] should be recited silently except for the first line. But sometimes we sing it out loud. Why is that? Signed, Can Hear O Israel
Why did the cantor hop during services on Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur? Signed, Not Jumping to Conclusions
In Birkat Ha-Mazon [Grace After Meals], there is a line that says: "Anahnu modim lakh, u-mevarkhim otakh." Isn't this a feminine grammatical construction, while the rest of the prayer is in the masculine or plural? To whom or what do lakh and otakh refer? Signed, Baffled Bentsher
Dear Befuddled Blesser, No, this is not a case of a transgendered God....
Is the prayer Ya`ale ve-Yavo added to Birkat HaMazon [Grace After Meals] during Hol HaMoed? Signed, Prayerful
Why do some Jews sway while they pray? Signed, Dizzy Davener
Dear Dizzy, The Zohar, a twelfth-century book of mysticism, suggests....
Why can't we chew gum and eat candy during services? Does the Torah forbid that, too? Signed, Bazooka Yosi
Dear Bazooka Yosi, I hate to be the one to burst your bubble....
How does the repetition of the Amida work? It seems to be different each time I'm at services. Signed, Amida Amida
Dear Amida, The Amida or shemona esrei prayer, a part of each service, is repeated....
I saw the Pope on television and noticed that he wears a yarmulke. No offense meant, but is the Pope Jewish? Signed, Bareheaded in Beaver Hill
When should a young Jewish man approaching bar mitzva age begin putting on tefillin? Signed, Men in Black
Hanuka
When Hanuka is on a Friday night, which lights do we light first, the Shabbat or the Hanuka? Signed, Light Right
I thought all the candles on a Hanuka Menora have to be the same height. But in the BEKI giftshop there is a Menora and the candles are not all at the same height. What gives? Signed, Level Headed
More Topics
Regular family membership dues at BEKI are are $770. Habad [Lubavitch] Headquarters is at 770 Eastern Parkway in Brooklyn. Is there a connection? Signed, Code Seeker
May Jews donate bodily organs? Signed, Liver Giver
- Why are there so many Cohens listed in the phone book? Signed, Phoney Questioner
The "voice of the turtle" is mentioned in the Bible and other books in the context of love poetry. I've never heard a turtle sing, but it doesn't sound very romantic. Signed, Turtle Soup
Dear Turtle, "Turtle" in the Song of Songs refers to a "turtledove"....
If I had a son I would not want him circumcised. (I am not planning on having one soon.) We should oppose male circumcision just as we oppose female circumcision. Circumcision is a trauma that may create lasting psychological damage. According to men I have had sex with, the foreskin is a source of sexual pleasure and I would not want to deprive my son of that. Studies have shown that if proper hygiene is observed, the foreskin presents no medical disadvantage. What social disabilities would he face as an uncircumcised Jew? Why take away from a place where, if anything, we should be adding on? Signed, For skin
Dear For skin, Male circumcision should not be compared with female genital mutilation....
I am a [non-Jewish] pre-operative Transsexual who is in my second year of what is referred to as the "real life test" (required two years of living as a women before surgery). There are references in the scriptures that my Jewish friends have trouble dealing with. Any help with these would be most appreciated. Signed, B
Is a brit mila of a newborn different if the mother is not Jewish? Signed, Preparing for Yom Clipper
Dear Clipper, Let us skip all the bris jokes and cut right to the point....
I'm planning a simha for next fall. Will the holidays be early or late next year? Signed, Plan Ahead
I'm embarrassed to ask. What is the difference between shluggin kapores and tashlikh? Signed, Afraid to Ask
What is the "Lieberman clause" in the ketuba? Signed, 'clause I care
Deuteronomy 22:28-29 reads: "If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, that is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty sheqels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he hath humbled her; he may not put her away all his days."
I'm having a hard time explaining this passage to an unbeliever and even to myself. Is there some background to it that explains the apparent brutality to the virgin woman who must marry her rapist? Signed, Believer in disbelief
Do nursing mothers fast on Yom Kippur? If not, what do they eat? Signed, Eating for Two
Dear for Two, The sources say that nursing mothers do fast on Yom Kippur, unless ....
Does Yom Kippur ever fall on a Sunday? Signed, Weekend Warrior
How can a person do teshuva (repentance) when the person can't make amends for various reasons, e.g. because it will cost too much personally (or financially) to make amends or because the other person doesn't know amends are due and to ask for forgiveness will only stir up trouble? Signed, Sorry to Ask
I read your essay "Will the 'Real' Judaism Please Stand Up?" on the BEKI website with great interest. I was particularly struck by the Conservative movement's halakhic (legal) reasoning behind the decision to create an egalitarian service, allowing women aliya, reading from the Torah, and simply being allowed to be on the bima. But there was an underlying issue which I want to discuss....
....Would the Talmudic sages of our past agree with this analysis, that if you do not conform to certain core beliefs, then it isn't Judaism, even if that synagogue's members perform the traditional rituals, yet allow driving to shul at the Sabbath, conduct the same prayer service, and act ethically according to traditional Jewish law? Sincerely, Perplexed
Dear Perplexed, Numerous sages have tried to reduce Judaism to some number of core teachings....
I converted to Judaism through a Chabad rabbi.... I love the mitzvot...but I can't get away from feeling degraded and held back from Godliness.... Signed, Hiding Seeker
My dog just turned 13 in doggie years. Can he have a Bar Mitzva? He's very smart.
Signed, Doggone curious in Beaver Hills.
PS: He sings better than you do, Rabbi.Check again soon for more inciteful answers and sage advice!
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