It's never too late for a bar mitzvah
Reprinted by permission from the Connecticut Jewish Ledger, 14 May 1999, p. 42-43
By Debbie Levison
NEW HAVEN - George Posener had never had a formal bar mitzvah. So, last month, at the age of 88, he proved it's never too late when he was among six other adults who marked their bar or bat mitzvah at Congregation Beth El-Keser Israel.
The b'nai mitzvot were the culmination of a course of study, or "siyyum," which began more than a year ago at the Conservative synagogue in New Haven.
"A siyyum is a way to create a better community feeling, and to integrate those congregants who feel 'peripheral' in services," said Ruth Silver, who participated in the group along with her husband Morton. Like the others, she had never had a formal coming-of-age ceremony as a youngster. "I really enjoyed this experience, and I want to continue learning. I see this studying as an ongoing process."
For the special Shabbat services, the Silvers jointly prepared and presented a sermon and Ruth recited a series of Psalms in Hebrew. Posener led Torah services and said Kiddush both Friday night and Shabbat morning.
All have a story
Dr. Joanne Foodim of New Haven was the impetus for the group's formation.
"My parents were secular and did not go to synagogue. I was not given a Hebrew school education as a child," Foodim said. "I wanted the adult equivalent of a bat mitzvah. I spoke to BEKI's Rabbi Tilsen and he agreed to organize it, and we found out that others were interested too."
In December 1997, Rabbi Jon-Jay Tilsen gathered together the group of seven people who, for one reason or another, had never had a bar or bat mitzvah. With the help of Ruth Greenblatt, Kathy Rosenbluh, Ellen Jawitz, Steven Fraade, and Amy Pincus, he began teaching an intensive course of study not unlike that of their younger counterparts at United Hebrew School. They covered various aspects of Judaism including Mishna tractates, liturgy, kashrut, Hebrew language, sages, and what the sabbi called "synagogue skills" - the structure of various services and prayers.
As a result, group members can now comfortably participate in private or public worship.
"I never had a bar mitzvah as a child," said Stanley Saxe, 71, of New Haven. Four years ago, Saxe could not read a letter of Hebrew. Now he can read and understand the prayer book, and during the siyyum, Saxe led the Torah service.
Fellow celebrant Peter Lerner also experienced his first aliyah. With no cantor to assist, Beth El-Kesser Israel relies on its active congregants to lead all parts of services.
"We have such a dynamic congregation. They inspired me to do this," said Foodim.
First time on bimah
For many in the group, this adult rite of passage was their initiation on a bimah.
"I was very nervous," Hugh Fryer said of his first aliyah. "But it was joyous at the same time. It was wonderful to be able to lead Shacharit (morning service)."
Fryer, who recently completed his formal conversion to Judaism through the Beit Din of the Rabbinical Assembly of New Haven, went to the mikvah the weekend before the siyyum.
"We believe there may have been a Jew in my father's family, but I was raised as a practicing Catholic," said Fryer.
His Japanese mother was converted to Catholicism and for a period of time his sister was a nun.
"I believe that Catholicism stripped down to its bare bones is Judaism," Fryer said. "I've always revered Judaism, and it fits more with my basic way of thinking and philosophy. Judaism teaches us to ask questions, not to accept blindly without thinking, whereas there is no room for interpretation in Catholicism."
At Beth El-Keser Israel, Fryer found fellow congregants to be "open and accepting," but it was the siyyum group that struck a chord.
"There were three exceptional things about this class - first, that Rabbi Tilsen made such a tremendous effort in presenting all the knowledge and getting us ready for this event," Fryer said. "Second, that it was great to meet such a diverse group of people who came together for one reason only: to learn more about their religion. And third, the actual studying . . . it was exhilarating."
Tilsen also enjoyed the experience.
"These adults are truly an inspiration to us all," he said. "They have proven their dedication to study, which is one of the highest values of traditional Judaism."
For information on the Connecticut Jewish Ledger call (860) 231-2424 or email ctjledger@aol.com.
See the coverage of the event in the BEKI Bulletin March 1999.
Return to News & Events PageEmail to Rabbi Jon-Jay Tilsen: jjtilsen@aol.com